God loves the sound of banjo music!
A testimony to my friend, Jesus
by Richard Ward

We had just finished playing music at the Grand Ol’ Opry. We had a national recording contract with LA based CMH records and we were touring up and down the East coast. I had left college in my third year to play music full time and had realized my dream in a very short time. I was playing to thousands of people at a time. We were getting ready to have our own TV spot on local public television. We knew we were really hot stuff. People would pat me on the back and say, “You really did what you set out to do, Richard. You are something else.” I really believed I could do anything my heart desired. I had a great music career and people around me respected me. Then I decided to leave.

My perfect world was about to be destroyed.

It started with a smiling face. Kathy Foy was one of our customers. She radiated with happiness every time I saw her. When I asked her about it she said confidently that it was God. Well, I had always known about God because my mother used to take us to the Catholic Church when we were growing up. I had been to Catholic Military School at Benedictine. So I knew everything about God, I thought. I just didn’t like all those people who seemed to be stuffed-shirted hypocrites. They just didn’t understand that life was meant to be enjoyed, not hated. And I was enjoying mine.

“But why was she always so darn happy?” I remember thinking. She did not fit my image of a Christian. She sensed my interest and invited me to her church: the Deaf Mission of First Baptist Church. I remember Carter Bearden preaching like it was yesterday. I felt like I had walked into a huge spotlight on my life. Every sermon seemed to be speaking to me. I came back week after week because I knew something was happening there. It felt great. It wasn’t full of those hypocrites like I saw before. (It couldn’t be me – everyone else was a hypocrite). Then the big one came.

Carter’s dad preached one Sunday. He said, “Some of you are deaf. You are physically deaf; but do you think it is possible we can be spiritually deaf?” he asked. “Why are you here?” he inquired of the congregation. “Are you hearing the Lord speak to you, or are you deaf?” I finally knew why I loved that church so much. I loved the people, but I also had a connection with them. I couldn’t hear! God had been talking to me but I couldn’t hear him. He reached me that day through a sermon to a deaf congregation.

He was about to get my full attention. But He couldn’t do it without tearing my little god’s apart. And He started with our business.

We called it “Black December” when a third of our labor walked off the job. We started losing work left and right. We were heading south quickly. I didn’t understand. This was my first taste of defeat. How could I lose? I was riding down the road, crying. My perfect world was falling apart. My dream of making a fortune was not going to come true.

My girlfriend at the time was a Christian. (Looking back, it seemed Christians were all around me.) She had given me a great record “Angel Band,” by Emmylou Harris, Vince Gill and Carl Jackson. I was driving down the road listening one of the songs. It was so moving that I began to cry.

I thought about Kathy and her inward joy. I remembered what Carter’s dad had said in church. I was at the entrance to I-95 south from Chippenham Parkway when I gave up. With “Precious Memories” playing in the background, I said, “Lord, if you are really real make me understand. I don’t understand. I give myself to you.” I had no idea of the power of that kind of prayer. I did not know it at the time, but I had prayed for wisdom first. But I was also honest. My heart really did not understand. I admitted things did not make sense to me. I had no idea how much God loves such a prayer.

The rivers of understanding started that day, beginning with my eyes being opened to the scripture I had been reading. Before that prayer, I would read the Bible and nothing seemed to make sense to me. It all ran together. Then I remember Kathy telling me, “Richard, just pray before you read. Open the Bible wherever it opens and read what it says. I guarantee it will speak to you if you will pay attention.” Well, after I prayed for wisdom and for Him to take control of my life, He opened my eyes and it has been like a flood ever since. But He was just getting started. I had other gods.

Looking back on my journey with God, it makes sense. Galatians 5:22-23 says: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” I am learning how to live each of them one at a time. It seems that God sometimes has to bring catastrophic events into my life to get me to pay attention.

The Tearing down of my gods

The Music god:
It seemed I had lost the ability to play. My fingers just wouldn’t move like they once did. I lost all confidence in my ability to play and sing. Many of the professional recordings I did were horrible. Something did not seem right. Then, through scripture and teachings I learned that my old nature played music for personal recognition and human respect. My new nature was God-dependent; so in order to play well, I needed to play to Him. Things changed dramatically when I got my focus off myself and realized that my gift was from Him and for Him. “Love God with all your heart… Seek Him first and the rest will be added…”

The Business god:
I had to learn humility. We sold our family cleaning business. I thought I was very smart so I bought a franchise business and proceeded to lose all the money I had put away including the money I had to borrow from my father to pay off the SBA loan. I lost all the money I had in the bank and had to cash in all my investments and insurance plans to live. No one would hire me and no one would loan me money. I finally gave up one day and told the Lord, “You are in charge, I do not know what to do.” He immediately put a business idea in my head that carried my family for the next four years.

The Family god:
I had to learn respect and forgiveness. I had worked on and off for my brother’s new robotics company. I was accused of trying to get my brother fired and take over his company. That was the furthest thing from the truth, but my family believed it. One day, after pleading my case with my parents, I walked out on them telling them I never wanted to see them again. Sitting in my car at the river, crying my eyes out, I remember inquiring of the Lord, “What should I do? I can’t believe this is happening to me.” He said, “Go back to your parents and apologize.” I remember saying “Are you kidding? I’m right! I’m not dishonest.” He said, “It doesn’t matter about being right. I matters that you honor your mother and father.” God wants us to be peacemakers. He wants us to forgive one another as He forgave us.

Building me back up

“Love” – I met my wife when I turned 36 after believing I would be single the rest of my life. We have been blessed with two beautiful children. I could not have dreamed of a more perfect woman and more beautiful children than what God has blessed me with.

“Faith” – Somehow, even through all my failures and lack of success as an entrepreneur, my wife has been able to stay at home and home school our children. We believe strongly that God has ordained that we home school them. He continues to find ways for me to earn a living in order to take care of them. We absolutely take nothing for granted.

“Patience” – We had two miscarriages. I was convinced we were having a child because I was told by the Holy Spirit that my children would do something “great” for Jesus. I bragged about our pregnancies. We lost both children. When I finally humbled myself and “gave up” (again), my son John was born.

“Joy” – I awoke in ICU believing I had died. Nothing was clear. I had had a four-way bypass and no one had told me it was going to hurt that much. I tried to pull the tubes out when I awoke until I was stopped by the nurses. The feeling that I have one more chance at life is unlike anything I can describe. God bless the doctors and nurses. We need them. I have learned to enjoy each day as it comes and know that the only thing important in our lives is our relationship with God and with others.

I picked up my banjo not long ago and stared at it. I thought, “Well, I’ve enjoyed playing on and off through the years, but I’m glad I have focused on what God wanted me to do – not on playing the banjo.” I have thought about what great things I could do for Him and how I could further His kingdom. I dreamed of ministries that reach the world, and businesses that make enough money to support His cause. I envisioned a healthcare technology business that takes care of seniors while sharing the gospel. I thought about writing. (I actually started a book once.) I started an Audio Video company (twice). I serve in the Media Ministry at church. I have been involved with planning music shows and events around Richmond. I joined with small groups sharing my success and my vision for my future and what I believed God had in store for me.

All the while He was patiently waiting.

And then recently I spent an evening playing music with some old friends. (Believe it or not, one of the same people I left college with to play music full time years ago!) When I came home that night the home was dark. Everyone had gone to bed. It was so peaceful walking up the steps. I remember walking into my bathroom and hearing God say to me, “You sounded great. It is so nice to hear you play again.” I wept.

All my life I have wondered what God had in store for me and what great things He wanted me to do for Him. All He has ever really wanted was a relationship with me. Nothing fancy. No super-duper business ventures. Just hearing me play and seeing me excited and happy. That is what He has wanted. He wanted to be my friend.

Someone once told me that Jesus is a true gentleman. He’ll stand outside the door and won’t bother you. He won’t come into your life unless you invite Him in. I’m glad I asked Him to come in. If you haven’t asked Jesus to come into your life please consider doing it right now. May I suggest starting like I did? Just be honest and ask for answers. I promise a more beautiful world awaits you.