- Small group participants are allowed two absences during the eight week workshop
as long as the absences are not on consecutive Sundays or both in the first four
- Participants are asked to inform their facilitators of any expected absences.
- “Flex” groups are available for all participants who are unable
to make this commitment of attendance to their group.
Explanation of Attendance Policy—
Recovery is a journey. Fellow travelers, you and the other workshop participants
are companions on this journey, sharing, guiding, caring, hearing, and encouraging
each other along the way. Your small group will form a special bond through your
time spent together. This bond will form the basis of trust and care that will be
the foundation for healing, and rebuilding. The presence of each participant is
important to the group. It is truly a group process. We ask each participant to
make attendance at the workshop a priority. If you are unable to make a commitment
of regular attendance to your group, your recovery progress will suffer, as will
that of your group. Each week your group will bond more deeply and will move forward
in their recovery. If you are absent, you will have missed this unique time with
your group. The more absences you have, the greater your gap with your group will
In order to provide a positive experience for all our participants, we
have “Flex” groups where regular attendance is not an expectation. The “Flex”
groups are for participants who find that they are unable to attend their small
group on a regular basis. They are designed to give you the small group experience
without the feeling of being left out or left behind. The “Flex” group
will be lead by experienced facilitators, the discussion and sharing will cover
the same material and will be governed by the same rules and expectations EXCEPT
that of attendance.
- Participants in the DRW are encouraged to refrain from alcohol ( and other drug)
use during their recovery period.
- There will be no alcohol served at any official activity associated with the
Divorce Recovery Workshop of First Baptist Church.
- Any participant or volunteer determined to have been drinking before or during
and official activity will be discreetly asked to leave.
- Small group activities and other DRW related group functions will be Alcohol
Explanation of Alcohol Policy—
The use of alcohol can seriously interfere with healing
and recovery from divorce. People struggling with separation and divorce are often
suffering from depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Because alcohol is a depressant,
its use during this time can exacerbate these issues. Alcohol can cloud judgment
at a time when difficult decisions and important transitions are being made. During
these difficult and painful times, recovering people are more susceptible to using
alcohol as a crutch to cover up feelings of low self-esteem and to “numb”
oneself to the pain.
The participants of the Divorce Recovery Workshop are from
many and varied backgrounds and religious and philosophical viewpoints regarding
alcohol. We wish to honor and respect all our participants in such a way as to allow
ALL participants to participate in, feel comfortable, and to enjoy group activities.
Alcohol abuse and addiction has been an important factor
in the breakup of many of the marriages of our participants. Whether them, their
spouse or from their family of origin, the use of alcohol can bring up some painful
and conflicting feelings for many participants.
It is the belief of the Divorce Recovery Ministry that
recovering people need to learn that they can have fun and enjoy social activities
without the use of alcohol.
The DRW is a ministry of First Baptist Church. The use
of alcohol at official functions could jeopardize the integrity of the workshop
with the church and the larger Christian community
Romantic Relationships Policy—
- Participants should refrain from pursuing a romantic relationship with other
participants or volunteers.
- All volunteers have signed a covenant that they will not pursue a romantic relationship
with workshop participants.
Explanation of Policy on Romantic Relationships—
Divorcing people are experiencing many difficult emotions including guilt, rejection,
anger and desperation. As a group, divorcing people have the lowest self-esteem
of any other single group. This all works to make divorcing people extremely needy
and vulnerable. Some feel that all they need is another relationship to make them
feel better or to prove that they are lovable and worthy. Others desire a relationship
to anger or “showup” their estranged spouse. None of these are healthy
reasons to enter into a romantic relationship and are bound to end in disaster.
At this time, recovering people need to focus on themselves and on their own recovery.
They need to process their bad feelings and to get to know themselves before they
are ready to enter into a romantic relationship.
Pursuing a romantic relationship
places the focus on other people and distracts from recovery. Romantic relationships
allow the person to avoid their pain and to avoid working on their issues. The result
is that all unresolved baggage will be brought into the new relationship. Most relationships
that begin during recovery will not last. When the relationship fails, the pain
experienced will be much greater because it includes the unprocessed pain from the
divorce and the lost relationship. The “in love” feeling that many people
experience early in a new relationship will mask the pain of the divorce. Those
who experience this “in love” feeling will believe that they are over
their pain. Unfortunately, those painful feelings are just buried under the temporary
love emotions and will resurface at a later time. It is a fact that over 80% of
all marriages that occur within two years of a divorce will end in a second and
even more painful divorce.
The DRW ministry encourages participants to concentrate
on building new community and developing new and meaningful friendships. This is
a time for you to focus on yourself and your recovery. Give yourself the time you
need to heal, to grow, to adjust to your new life and to discover your own future
with hope. You deserve it!